A1C Score

Sweets had her first A1C test today since her diagnosis.   When she went into the hospital it was 14!!  Ouch.......

Today, I am proud to say, it was 6.8 

Whoop whoop.

It is has been by far the hardest thing I have ever done to keep Sweets blood sugar in range day in and day out.....hour after hour.  Sometimes I wonder why in the world I care so much, but after we get a score like this, and after only just a few month of learning how to care for her, I remember what it's all about.  Keeping her healthy so she won't go into ketoacidosis again or pass out from low blood sugar.  So later in life she won't go blind, have kidney failure, nerve damage, skin disorders, gastroparesis(just to name a few complications), and will be able to have children.

Plus it feels really good when the Endo pats you on the back and looks you in the eye and tells you "good job" because sometimes you don't hear it enough.

It's just a pizza party

or it used to be just a pizza party.  Now it's...........

She has a pizza party at 1:00 and I can't give her the normal lunch at noon with insulin and then turn around 45 minutes later and give her more insulin for pizza. It's dangerous to stack insulin.  So, I take baby sister to the sitters while I go pick up Sweets so she can hang with me for an hour at noon while the rest of her class is eating their lunch.  I know it's been very long since she has had breakfast and that she won't last an extra hour without eating or we risk low blood sugar.  I can't give her much though, or it will raise her blood sugar too much, so I choose to give her a couple sips of juice and some peanuts to hold her over.
We drive to the convenient store and get her a diet soda then head back to the school to wait for the bell to ring.  We find that the teacher is going to allow each student 1 piece of pizza.  That's usually no big deal, but this is Sweet's lunch and she's starving.  One piece of pizza isn't going to cut it.  So I head to the office where she has yogurt tubes in the fridge. I count the carbs for her pizza and yogurt while she checks her Blood Sugar (which happens to be in a very good range thank you very much).  We go to the restroom to take the insulin because Sweets still hasn't gotten over the fact that it's ok for someone to see her take her shots.  I leave her to have her pizza party without mom hanging around.
I drive back to the sitters and grab the little sister.  It's 1:15 by now and at 3 o clock (two hours after she eats) I have to go back to the school to check Sweet's BG to make sure she isn't dropping.
I told her Home Health nurse not to bother coming in for her today because the schedule was all messed up and consequently I got to nurse her today. No big deal...........it's just a pizza party
................(for a normal person).

How does Halloween work?

I read a little piece of advice in a magazine article on holidays with Type 1 while I was in the hospital with Sweets.  It advised, for Halloween, on making the other parts of the holiday such as: pumpkin carving, costume making, party games, and getting together with friends the focus and fun instead of the trick or treating.  We tried to help sweets have the costume she wanted, made a whole evening dedicated to carving pumpkins and roasting seeds(which are very high in protien and low in carbs), attended the church Halloween dinner and party, and her school grade tried to make the class Halloween party about movies and making slime instead of the treats.  Of course we let her go trick or treating.  How can you tell them they cannot.  But, then you get this whole big plastic pumpkin full of sugar crap.  Knowing all about carbs and sugars and what they do to your body makes you look at that much candy in a new light.  There is no way she even can have more than 1 piece of it a day. Some days it's not any.   1 small candy bar can mean a half unit more of insulin with her meal and if she's in a higher range already to begin with, well, that doesn't work for me.  I do my best to let her have some though and she is very understanding.  Good girl.

Candy makes the blood too sweet for this vampire girl.

I offered to buy it from her, we tired to convince her to give it away, etc.  She's hanging on to it though and I don't blame her.  As she said "I worked hard for all this candy"!

Diabetes Awareness Month

Just another month to make me feel like I should be doing more, but can't figure out how.  I am not campaigning, or wearing t-shirts around town every day.  I am not spreading the news to neighbors and friends because, frankly I don't have time to associate with anyone.  I do not have a huge Diabetes blog that I am spreading the word with or even a Face book account connected to hundreds of friends. 

My daughter has diabetes.  The End.  I figure it's enough that I keep her alive and not sick every hour of the day.

it IS true

I called the pharmacy today to renew Sweet's prescription of Lantis.  We had a pen of Levimur the endo gave us to try because Sweets had complained of the Lantis stinging.  Long story short, we did not have so much success with the Levimur. 

When I got to the counter I did not recognize this particular Pharmacist.  I did have to chuckle though, because she knew who I was and which prescription I needed without me even saying a word.

So it is true............

On the top of the World

Dear Sweets,

I hope that you can always feel that in this life, you are on top of the world.  Daddy encouraged you to try your hardest to find a way to climb to the top of this rock. You almost gave up.  We waited patiently for you to find your way.  It is something you really love to do......climb.  

You have not let your diabetes slow you down.  You never complain, cry, or ask why.  You go on with life, but in the quiet moments, sometimes I can see your pain.  You try your hardest to not let it slow you down.  You are so strong.....so much stronger than I.

I pray that throughout this life, you will continue to climb.  To see whatever you want in life and find a way to get to the top of it.  I pray you will never  let your disease define you or tell you what you can't do or who you should be.

You have so much spirit, fortitude, determination, and just the right amount of stubbornness. 

Your Daddy and I will be right behind you....encouraging you....helping you....cheering you on.

You are amazing Sweets.  Everyday you prove it again and again.

We love you to the ends of the Earth and back again.

Love, Mom

Unpacking and hiding the memories away

Some experiences are to be treasured, photographed, talked about around the dinner table, and remembered for years.  Others are pushed deep down inside, hidden away, and locked from the heart.
They are so emotionally awful that you go out of your way to not remember them.  But, sometimes, they creep up.  Like when you are trying to fall asleep and all you can play in your mind is that experience.  Then you end up crying yourself to sleep.  Other times they unexpectedly hit when you are cleaning and find related objects that slams your heart to pieces again.
Sweet's gifts and cards and things from the hospital stay over the summer were Godsends.  They uplifted her heart, gave her joy in that time of stress, and let her know how much everyone loves her.  They kept her busy for hours in that boring place. She cried at the love and caring others sent.
We packed them up with us in a big gift bag and brought them home.  We put them in her room, and there they sat, untouched.  Eventually the bag got moved to her walk in closet.  When she was bored, I told her to go get out some of the lovely gifts to play with.  She declined......every time.  Eventually I put two and two together.  She didn't want to look at the gifts because it reminded her of her most awful experience on this earth this far. Memories of the day and time that changed her life so dramatically forever.  Of the week she went into the hospital one person, and came out another.
One day I tried to clean out the closet, I looked at the bag, and the pit immediately formed in my stomach. I totally understood her then.  I didn't want to clean it out either.  I just shut the door and left.  We hardly ever go into the closet.  It's a huge mess, a room not used anymore.  I need to put the laundry back in there, it needs to be cleaned.  Which means, I have to do something with the bag of stuff.  I will have to go through it.  Today is the day for me to clean it, to remember. Of course I will cry.  I might break down.  I might hyperventilate.  But, I will lock the cards and gifts away from her.  Not to be seen, until the time when she can begin to heal from the emotional trauma.  When we can pull them out, and remember again, all the love our friends and neighbors and family gave us at that time instead of the awfulness.

p.s.~ on a strange discovery, the stuffed animals she recieved in the hospital, for some reason, do not provoke these feelings. They are all on her bed and slept with every night.  Also, the gifts she recieved from family and friends upon her return home are not catergorized in this either.
p.p.s.~ Again, thank you to all who sent cards, flowers, and gifts to cheer up our Sweets.  We love you.