Did you know that as a T1D mom you learn to cry with your heart instead of with your eyes. When things are very scary or frustrating or you feel you can't take one more second of it, you learn to smile with your mouth and cry with your heart. It squeezes and hurts and you stop breathing for a moment. Then it does it again and again until you can compose yourself enough to make it stop or are lucky enough to escape to a secluded place to be able to really cry with your eyes. Someone might think I am describing a panic attack, but it's not, it's a learned behavior. I do it on purpose.
I am around my children 24/7. Most of the time I can't just leave to cry and I can't let Sweets see me upset. I can't cry in the middle of the grocery isle, or when the Dr. is talking to me and Sweets , or during the middle of church, or in a meeting with the Principal, or when I can't mentally wrap my head around what is going on, or when Sweets is upset and needs me to be strong for her. Crying on the outside is not an option. So I cry on the inside.
It's amazing what the heart can go through and keep on beating.
No comments:
Post a Comment