In the Background of the Celebration

We (my husband and I) were in the far shadows, in the background, behind the pancake breakfast, down the bench with snacks during the program, further back watching her gather a sack full of candy from the parade, on the sidelines of the water fight (that went on for hours) with a juice box or two, by ourselves quietly and frustratingly counting carbs for the picnic dinner, sitting on the ground with a watchful eye during rambunctious play during the firework show, measuring homemade ice cream with a 1/2 cup after everyone had their turn, and then I was sneaking through the dark of the night to treat the delayed low that was inevitable.

Sweets had a "normal" Fourth of July.  We tried our best to let her be on this day.  To let her eat what she wanted and to let her play as hard as she could.  It wasn't easy, but it was possible and it all worked out.  Sometimes I wondered if I was even enjoying my Holiday while trying to give Sweets hers.  I was secretly jealous of all the other parents, who were chatting away, having no sense of time, loading up their kid's plates with how much of whatever, letting their children run without a care in this world.  No worries at all.  Even though I may not have enjoyed my Holiday as much as others, I bet it meant more to me.  I gave my child something she wouldn't have been able to do on her own and that sacrifice is one I would do over and over again.  One that I will have to do over and over again.  And I am glad too!

P.S.  As I watched Sweet's gather up candy like the rest of the kids, I was wondering if she was even thinking that there was no way she was going to be able to eat it.  I mean a piece here or there with a meal or when she's low.  It would take 3 months to go through it.  Still she had a good time scrambling for it though.  I was worried about how I was going to deal with a big sack of candy in the cupboard temping her.  I thought maybe she could trade it in with me for something else.  I got a big break though!  She had also picked up an Otter Pop that was thrown.  It had a hole in it and leaked all over her candy and ruined it. I threw it away immediately and without her knowing. You know what?  She didn't even ask about the bag of candy.  I think she knew in her mind all along that it wasn't going to be feasible and had already let it go before I threw it away.