Roller Coaster

Up and down and up and down.  This B.S. is a roller coaster.  Sometimes I feel like I am always fixing it instead of managing it.  Is that how it is?  We have had more lows over the last two days than high's and her high's have been higher than normal.  I can't figure it out.  I have changed nothing.   I feel like I am correcting a normal sugar level just because I am afraid in an hour or so it will plummet and leave her in a coma on the floor.  I've seen her levels drop over 100 points in just a matter of hours and that terrifies me.  Especially when it's lower at bedtime.  It's not a fun roller coaster ride.  At least Sweets doesn't mind if she's low.  She seizes the opportunity for a free snack. Ha ha.

My husband has become my best friend.  There is no one we know that truly can even comprehend a small portion of what we are going through emotionally as well as physically.  He is the only one who can understand my emotions and the reactions to them.  He's the only one who knows how stressful this is and how many minutes of the day this takes up.  He's the only one who understands what's it's like to have a child with an illness that will kill them if it isn't managed every hour of the day.  He understands everything.  I am so thankful I am not alone here.

Sweets got a wonderful gift in the mail from her Aunt and Uncle who live in Nevada.  We don't see them much, But they still love her and care for her very much.  She needs all the love and support she can get.  My family has been so awesome in showing us their support and love.

Tonight Husband asked me if I thought I had changed since all this has happened.  I know I have changed.  I want to say for the better, but if becoming even more serious than I already was......I don't know if it is.  I have become aware that I have more patience than I think, if I really try to exert myself. I have found that I have super control over my emotions if I want to. I have learned your reactions to situations can actually change the situation for the better. I have learned that strength is a gift from God.  I have learned that life isn't fair and sometimes you really have no control.

I have learned to trust in myself and to never say "I can't".

I have learned that my daughter is the strongest person I know.  

A typical night.........setting it for 2 a.m.